Killer Bees

 

More pencils from the forthcoming 1up.com game! Who is this mysterious insectoid man? Does he get improved cell reception? 

Since the new Grand Theft Auto V trailer went live, yesterday, speculation has been rampant as to who the unnamed, and quite possibly unseen, narrator was. The prevailing rumor -- which I will go out on a limb and declare patently false  -- is that the narrator is none other than "Vice City's" Tommy Vercetti, owing to the narrator sounding very vaguely, and very temporarily, like Vercetti's voice, Ray Liotta.  I've heard it, and the resemblance is there, but only momentarily. Mike Myers has been able to sustain an uninterrupted Scottish accent for longer than the narrator sounded like Ray Liotta.

And, of course, Liotta's management has already responded to the rumors, stating definitively that he had nothing whatsoever to do with the creation of the trailer, which would seem to lay the matter to rest, but hope springs eternal. Me, as much as I'd like to see the characters of earlier GTAs again -- alive if not completely well -- I think it's best to look to the future, since there's so much more real estate there. Besides, low-polygon characters don't always benefit from a transition to more-realistic styling. I'm thinking here specifically of Cloud Strife, who went from a spunky rakehell in "Final Fantasy VII" to, well, a woman in the CG feature "Advent Children."

Besides, at last count, my version of "San Andreas'" C.J. had 100 percent muscle AND 100 percent fat. "San Andreas" took place in the mid-nineties, so there's a very, very good chance Carl Johnson has already been laid to rest by a massive coronary. That's the life he chose to lead, dog.